As an educator and parent, I have learned that there are several ways to cultivate true leaders as we influence children.  Let me share 3 practical principles to consider as we shape the leaders of tomorrow.

It is important to recognize that there are many kinds of leaders.  There are extroverted, charismatic leaders, whom we might first imagine when thinking about leadership.  There are also introverted, quiet leaders.  These leaders may speak less often that others—yet they lead by example, offering a different perspective with their actions, which translates into effective leadership.  Beyond these two styles, there are a range of variations in between.

For those tasked with instilling leadership in children, the first principle is what I call “push with parameters”.  This means that we give children a gentle push beyond their comfort zone, in order to have a leadership opportunity. The parameters suggest that this push is within boundaries.  We are not sending children into an unsafe zone to do something which will traumatize them.  We are pushing them toward something we know they can do, even if they do not yet know it themselves.

The second principle is to give children responsibility.  Building personal responsibility is the key to genuine confidence.  Children need responsibility for which they are accountable. This can be anything from setting the table, making their own bed, or arranging their own schedule. In a classroom

context, children need jobs over which they have ownership, and personal responsibility needs to be enforced over and again until it becomes part of the child’s core character.

The third principle is opportunity.  Parents and teachers must provide children with opportun

ities to learn new skills, to have different conversations, and to thrive in a variety of contexts.  These opportunities do not necessarily need to be obviously linked to leadership.  It’s simply living, learning and growing in a variety of contexts that is important—whether it’s traveling, holding a conversation with your adult friends, giving a speech, trying a sport, or cooking a meal.  Opportunities are chances—to live, learn, and gain life experience.

With my own children, I see three types of developing leaders.  In my oldest, I see a humble, principled person who leads by quiet example.  In my daughter, I see someo

ne with strong ideas whose actions speak louder than words, but whose carefully chosen words can be influential.  In my youngest, I see a person of action and charisma who leads by passion and being a true friend.  These leadership styles represent the vast variety of leaders I’ve seen over my twenty years of being an educator.

We see the same leadership archetypes in ourselves, in our friends, and in our colleagues.  We want our kids first and foremost to be stro

ng in their own principles, yet open-minded enough to learn.  With a gentle push, responsibility, and opportunity, our children will develop into effective leaders, helping shape the future in meaningful ways.